Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Barack Obama is Moshiach!


Pack your bags and get ready to move to the Holy Land! World peace and the building of the Third Temple are close at hand! I can say this in all certainty because it is obvious that President Barack Obama is the messiah!

I understand that I am late to the game here, and that other prophets have also made such a claim (see here and here, the latter being the source from which I ripped off the above image). But for the skeptics among you here is undeniable scientific proof of this assertion.

The gematria of משיח‎ - moshiach - is 40+300+10+8=358.

Barack - ברק - is 2+200+100=302
Obama - אובמה - is 1+6+2+40+5=54
So Barack Obama = 356. Add 1 for each name (a common technique in gematriot) or spell his last name אובאמה as some are wont to do and add 1 for the full name. You get 358.

משיח=ברק אובמה

BARACK OBAMA = MOSHIACH!

Can there be any greater proof than this???

Is this any more ridiculous than the moronic drivel promulgated by Dreaming of Moshiach? Or the apocalyptic ravings of Torah code "researchers" Gallis and Wolf"? Or the vitriol spewed by Lazer Brody?

I think not.

7 comments:

Joshua said...

Interesting, I had seen Christian sources trying to make it that Obama was the anti-Christ using numerological arguments but had not seen Jews making similar comments (I love how any date connected with Tisha B'Av is a sign of badness. He gave a major speech that day. No doubt if he was born on the 9th they'd use that, and if he had announced his candidacy for President on the 9th they'd use that and so on...).

Now, I'm really not sure how to reconcile the fact that Obama is the Jewish messiah according to this and is the Anti-Christ. I know! Since the Anti-Christ is supposed to deceive people, especially the Jews, no doubt he deliberately arranged to have a name that would make the Jews think he was the Messiah. That tricky fellow.

Anonymous said...

Gematria doesn't work like that, or you could make anything be anything and say there's the proof. Using your same logic he could just as easily be the snake (serpent) also of numerical value 358.

Frum Heretic said...

Yes, your wise words conceal a great secret. And that is according to our Hidden Wisdom the messiah will bruise the head of the serpent, which is why they are both 358. Thus Moshiach Obama will do battle in the war of Gog and Magog and ultimately "crush and subdue the kelipot and sitra achra" which is the nachash.

apollo500 said...

You have your hidden wisdom and I have mine. My interpretation is that the snake is a liberator, because he introduces the humans to free thought.

Sammy Finkelman said...

Of course I think everyone knows how ridiculous gematria can be. When you can also add a few numbers you are really granting yourself a lot of degrees of freedom.

By the way, 666 is the Roman Emperor Nero, Neros in
Greek.

Nun - 50

Yud - 10

Resh - 200

Vav - 6

Suf - 400
----------
666

This proves that the Ashkenazic pronunciation is correct. But for those who want to say the Sephardic pronunciation is actually right, we have:

Nero Kaiser

Nun - 50

Yud - 10

Resh - 200

Vav - 6


Kuph - 100

Yud - 10

Samech - 60

Resh - 200


That adds up to only 636, but there's a way to make it come out to 666. Add a Yud? No. that's still 20 short.

And of course there's Microsoft.

BILL GATES 66 + 73+ + 76 + 76 + 71 + 65 + 84 + 69 + 83 plus 3 because he is Bill Gates III

also:

MS-DOS 6.21 (Here we take the value of the ounctuation marks and the space into account too, ad ignore the fact there was no version 6.21)

77 + 83 + 45 + 68 + 79 + 83 + 32 + 54 + 46 + 50 + 49 = 666

Also:

WINDOWS 95 = 87 + 73 + 78 + 68 + 79 + 87 + 83 + 57 + 53 + 1. We add a 1 because you can always add a 1 if the gematria doesn't work out.

Frum Heretic said...

Sammy, please redo your calculations. The earliest NT witnesses seem to suggest that 616 is the number of the beast, not 666. (At least for Nero Kaiser, you can make it chaseir and leave out both yuds...)

Also, that's a pretty novel way to use ASCII! And don't forget that lower and upper-case have different values leading to all kinds of interesting combinations.

Anonymous said...

why dont yall just read the bible and find out whats what