Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Nicole Kidman Solves Some Conceptual Difficulties

Having trouble conceiving? Doctors and fertility clinics too much cost & bother? Don't worry, you still have lots of other options.

First, daven! Just refer to the article Prayer Works published in The New York Times. Yes, I know about Columbia University 'Miracle' Study: Flawed and Fraud, but the Times is the "paper of record", so it must be true! You'd rather listen to some atheist skeptics??

If that fails, go to your local Baal Mofes (miracle worker). Even a dead one will suffice, as this article states; heck, it could even be better for your pocketbook: I personally know someone who went to a rebbe for a bracha, and the rebbe required a 10% of yearly income donation to the rebbe's yeshiva if the man's wife became pregnant. (She did, and he made the donation happily.)

Finally, if all else fails, don't worry - head out to the Australian outback for both fun and babies. Nicole Kidman credits fertile water with pregnancy.

And don't me any of that "confirmation bias" crap.


jewish philosopher said...

I am praying for the utter annihilation of heretics. Wish me luck.

Frum Heretic said...

In spite of your feeble attempt at humor, your attitude is certainly worthy of the Taliban or the Inquisition. Pay attention to aleinu the next time you daven and try and get it into that little head of yours that a more worthy approach is to pray for the annihilation of heresy, not of heretics.

jewish philosopher said...

Try reading an uncensored version of the 12 blessing in the Amidah, Birkas haMinim, to see what I'm praying for.

Frum Heretic said...

OK, so you like the Art Scroll header that says "heretics". Not surprising. Read Elbogen for the history of this blessing, which was probably originally composed against Christians and informants.

Are you also praying - according to your desire to interpret this blessing in such a shtark manner - that those who sin b'mazid will be cut down? If so, perhaps you really need to do your own chesbon hanefesh and temper your continual and unqualified expressions of din with a little rachamim.