If you are unacquainted with this phrase, it means "the praise-worthy virgin bride".I've always found this almost universal custom not only anachronistic (after all, the family is not also parading around the bloody tokens of her deflowering, are they?) but also somewhat offensive. It seems no different from saying (albeit more crudely), "Hey everyone, our wonderful daughter hasn't been shtupped yet!" Yeah, it's implicitly understood, so why do people feel the need to publicize it? (Note also that in these circles it is likely that the chassan is also a virgin, but it isn't so praiseworthy that it needs to be advertised.)
Publicizing their daughter's sexual status - sheesh, haven't these people heard about tznius?
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Chastity as a virtue in women is widespread, and entirely understandable. A woman always knows if a baby is hers or not, a man doesn't - unless he can be sure that his wife won't cheat on him. If a girl is a virgin it means she doesn't have casual sex, and most probably won't after marriage (not strictly logical, but what can you do). Thus virginity = fidelity, and this is virtuos and an asset to be advertised.
I've always found it odd that people who would turn colors if you said the word 'virgin' at their shabbos table put that prominently on all their wedding invitations.
One of these days I'm going to muster up the courage to look over one of these invites when I'm at my parents house, and remark nonchalantly, "Huh. So she is a virgin!"
Virtuous, yes. "an asset to be advertised", I dunno.
> praise-worthy virgin bride".
Ah. Yes! But is she a Besulah in both mekomos like our matriarch Rivka?
וְהַנַּעֲרָ, טֹבַת מַרְאֶה מְאֹד--בְּתוּלָה, וְאִישׁ לֹא יְדָעָהּ; וַתֵּרֶד הָעַיְנָה, וַתְּמַלֵּא כַדָּהּ וַתָּעַל.
Most (orthodox) people fail to understand that these sects are exactly that-sects with their own set of standards that do not apply to the rest of us lest we choose to join up with them. Frum people are very "frum-centric" eg Lubavitchers think that their brand of orthodoxy is the only authentic one. The fact is that perhaps 10% of the 5 million Jews in the USA maintain some degree of observance. 500,000 Orthodox Jews is a high estimate. So it's Festivus for the rest of us
Doesn't bother me too much. It's just a traditional wording that would be used even if the bride wasn't a virgin (although, granted, it would not be used if she was obviously not a virgin [i.e. divorced or widowed]). It's not really meant to indicate her true status.
It's in the same vein as some schools who send out mailings to parents as "Rabbi & Mrs." even though the man may not actually be a Rabbi.
The Wolf
You're (ironically) being too literal. Within the Orthodox culture that makes those invitations, that phrase is used in a formulaic sense. No one is reading it and bringing to mind the literal meaning. Want proof? Look on the other side of the invitation: the English half of the invitation doesn't say "virgin"--because it's not formulaic in English and would be taken at its face meaning, something it's not meant to.
Wolf and m-n are right. It's a sort of vestigial organ of Judaism. Two quick personal anecdotes in the same vein:
1-A few pesachs ago at a hotel, I went for a stroll with a group of people on yom tov. We came to a stream and started skipping stones on the water. One member of our group had just started frumming out in yeshiva and took umbrage at our little game. "Its chayev sekila" he said in a most serious tone. Unable to resist, I replied that we could carry out the sekila with the very stones we were skipping! He stared at me blankly until I translated the word sekila.
2-In the book Women's Work, the author quotes aishes chayil to make a point about women and textiles (darsha tzemer uphishtim, shesh v'argaman l'vusha, etc.). For some strange reason, I decided to see how many OJ's would recognize the zemira they sing every Friday night if they were to see it in English. Out of the around 10 people I queried, only 2 or 3 realized it was aishes chayil.
Most OJ's don't really think about the Hebrew words they use in rituals (davening, laining, kiddushin). It's pretty much chanting and incantations of holiness as prescribed by Chazal. The words themselves have virtually no meaning. Ask the guy who's saying halleloohoo b'neivel v'chinor with such intense kavana why he's so excited about harps and psalteries. I'm quite sure you'll get the same blank expression that my "stoner" colleague gave me.
Happy,
Of course, the upshot of your first story is that the person was so unlearned himself, he didn't realize that what he was saying was completely wrong.
Even if what you were doing was forbidden on Yom Tov, you *still* would not have been chayiv skilah (unless, of course, it was Shabbos too). Chillul Yom Tov is only a lav -- no more.
As to your #2 -- Eeees and I would recognize it -- so much so that we had a really good laugh when we saw the LOLCat version of it.
Best lines:
-- she giv her spayr cheezburgerz an cookiez to demz dat iz not having ne!!
-- wen it snoez she be liek totalli kOOl cauz she alredi makeded teh scarfz an hatz for her huzban an bebeh kittehz
-- lots of wimins iz gud but she is teh bestest - srsly!!!
The Wolf
The Wolf
I see it now in charedi circles, not just chassidim. I dislike it as well. I personally hate the fact that something like that is publicized. But "offensive' is subjective. If it doesn't bother their own community, I guess I shouldn't find it offensive either.
And they are right. It is NEVER translated into English
"I dislike it as well. I personally hate the fact that something like that is publicized."
HH, you gotta read your bible more. Hint: Deuteronomy 22:13-21.
Happy
It says elders. You show it to judges based on your complaint.
Brooklyn and Happy,
Actually isn't the only issue here Rabbinic? The only real problem seems to be an issue of muktzah. There's no prohibition of carrying on Yom Tov. Moreover, even if it had been on Shabbat, muktzah would still be the only issue since a rock isn't worth enough to be carrying d'reitah.
Eh. First of all, there's no law about "truth-in-advertising" on wedding invitations. Second, the whole thing could be strictly true, but only in a Clintonian sense, in which case, it's not a very impressive achievement.
Call me when you find a baby announcement or a bris invitation referring to the Praise-Worthy Virgin Mother.
i find in environments where hebrew is widely spoken, that phrase is on the decline
It means unmarried in this context.
It means unmarried in this context.
So if they leave it out I guess that implies polyandry! Cool...
>It means unmarried in this context.
So Virgin means unmarried. And for Christians, unmarried (almah) means virgin.
See, that's the problem with religions. If they'd simply say what they mean, iut would save us a lot of grief.
And what do you mean, "it means unmarried". What's the Havah Amina, that he's marrying a married woman?
>It means unmarried in this context.
So Virgin means unmarried. And for Christians, unmarried (almah) means virgin.
See, that's the problem with religions. If they'd simply say what they mean, iut would save us a lot of grief.
And what do you mean, "it means unmarried". What's the Havah Amina, that he's marrying a married woman?
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