Sunday, March 11, 2012

Jewish Prayer for Dummies

Quick synopsis of the Amidah.
  • Praise the Lord. He's holy and we Jews are holy. (1-3)
  • Please grant us wisdom, health, and wealth. (4, 8, 9)
  • Please let us serve you better so that you will forgive us and we can be redeemed. (5, 6, 7)
  • We really, really want to live under a theocracy. And while you're at it, please destroy all those sinners. (10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Please accept these prayers. (16)
  • By the way, we really do want to sacrifice animals to you once again. (17)
  • Thanks for listening. (18)
  • Please give us Jews peace and blessings. (19)

4 comments:

tesyaa said...

I'd say most people only care about 4,8, and 9, but they say the other stuff because they think that will get them 4,8 and 9.

Eli said...

• Thank you. (1-3)
• Thanks again. (2)
• Gracias. (3)
• Please...thank you so much. (4-9)
• Please...and thanks again! (10-15)
• Sorry for the trouble, just a few more things please. Greatly appreciated. (15-17)
again. (17)
• Thanks for listening. (18)
• Alright, if you insist: Thank you.

Benjamin of Tudela said...

I especially like the sacrifices. People forget you got to eat part of the cow..

Frum Heretic said...

The owner of the animal was NOT allowed to eat from most sacrifices (unless he was a kohen).